Great Quotes: On Campire Love

For all the summer loves out there!

“When we first started hanging out together, this morning, we were just friends; but things change, and I’ve fallen in love with you. I just know that if you gave me a chance, I could make you feel so good. So I am coming, not as your buddy, and not as a co-counselor, but for the first time as a man – a man who loves a woman, and who wants to hold her and provide for her and, yes, have sex with her; but no, seriously, Katie, I love the way you laugh and I love the way your hair smells and I love it that sometimes for no reason you’re late for shul, and I don’t care that you’re bowlegged and I don’t care that you’re bilingual – all I know is that I would have said no to every single person on your list because I’ve always wanted you.” –Coop to Katie, Wet Hot American Summer


Notes From a Birthday Girl

Unabashed in her birthday zealotry

Unabashed in her birthday zealotry

Today is my 26th birthday. I am the birthday girl.

I got to thinking about what that means today, with near tragic results. As I was walking to work (20 mins late cause f*ck it, I’m the birthday girl), I almost got run over by a rogue cyclist. I could see the crime scene play out in front of me: I’m laying there in my bright red dress and lipstick, x’s over my eyes. The trenchcoated Detective 1 takes a deep drag from his cigarette and, exhaling, murmurs to Detective 2, “Goddamnit. She was the birthday girl.” “Hate to see that, Roy,” says Detective 2.

So it’s a special thing. But not only do you get the presents and the fanfare, you get excused from pretty much all liability.

Things You Can Get Away With When You’re the Birthday Girl:

– Breaking plans (“Sorry, I have other plans now, being that I’m the birthday girl.”)

– Breaking your BF’s Phillies 1980 World Series commemorative mug ([sobbing] “I’m so sorry, what have I done, I broke your favorite thing on my birthday.”)

– Stealing fries off your friend’s plate ([mumbled] “Wha? I’m the birfday girl.”)

– Listening to “Almost Paradise” from the Footloose soundtrack. (“Almost paradise, we’re knocking on Heaven’s door, cause I’m the birthday girl.”)

– Wearing an outrageous outfit to work. (“Oh is that your birthday sweater?” “Yes, I’m the birthday girl.” [special thanks to J.E.M.])

– Throwing tantrums and generally making an ass of yourself to your family. Who’s going to yell at you? (Mom to sister: “Leave her be, it’s her special day, cause she’s the birthday girl.”)

It goes on and on! I’m looking forward to 14 more hours of this.

Party All The Ti-ime

Happy Friday, one and all!

I won’t bore you with my tangents and whatnot. Instead, please enjoy this most amazing jam by Mr. Eddie Murphy, with some slick production and hand-clapping support by Mr. Rick James.

I might walk down the aisle to this song. I, too, like to party all the time!

Best part: When Rick James loses his shit at 2:50. Rick, I’m with you, this jam is the pinnacle of Jheri-Curl-Great!

(Further viewing: Boogie In Your Butt, by Mr. Eddie Murphy; and The Ice Cream Man, also by Mr. Eddie Murphy)

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I Love Everything

It’s been one hell of a Fall.

Between the Fightin’ Phils bringing home the World Championship and my country ‘tis of thee Barack-ing the Vote, things haven’t been this good for me since the E-Street Band Reunion Tour in ’99.

To celebrate the goings-on, here’s a compact collection of what’s been making my heart flutter of late.

The Dropping of Genuine F-bombs

Chase Utley and a puppy he saved

Chase Utley (the bomb dropper) and a puppy he saved


The Man with the pLan

The Man with the Plan

Fleetwood Mac (if you were looking for Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Round-Up, sorry; that can be found here)

A tangled web of trysts and triumphs

The Mac: A tangled web of trysts and triumphs

New Journalism

Miss Norma Jean and Mr. Truman Capote

Miss Norma Jean and Mr. Truman Capote

South Philly



Pat Burrell

The Bat

The Bat

Pat Burrell’s dog, Elvis The Bulldog

Elvis himself (Photo by Jeff Fusco/Getty Images)

Elvis himself (Photo by Jeff Fusco/Getty Images)

Google image results for the search terms “pat burrell and his dog”

ESPN, sum dood, Abraham Lincoln

ESPN, sum dood, Abraham Lincoln

Tootsie Roll Frooties

Frooties are amazing, and good for you

Frooties are amazing, and good for you

So anyway, that’s that. More good stuff to come from the land of Pish de Luxe.